Definition: Grok

To grok is to know. If you really truly understand, then you grok it. You have become one with it and you have enveloped the meaning.

The word comes from the Martian word, "to drink". Yes, Martians. Robert A. Heinlein, the author of "Stranger in a Strange Land" gave us this word back in 1961 and the computer industry later adopted it as our own. Trekkies have used this word, along with Matt Groening so you know it has reached the pinnacle of geekdom.

How to Name Your Server

If you've ever worked on a team that shares a file server, you know the importance of naming computers. Especially on local area networks where multiple servers are available. You need to have a way to tell them apart. Otherwise we'd be referring to the computers as "that box".

Server naming tends to be either functional (like PHOTOSTORE1 or Backup3) or whimsical (Ophelia and Hamlet). Production servers seem to take on a personality after a while, either because of the type of files on the box or because of the server's behavior. Does a temperamental computer called Tempest take on the personality associated with the name? I worked on a team where the servers were named after inventors and the Edison and Tesla machines were constantly battling each other just like their namesakes.

I have seen numerous approaches to server naming over my 18 years in the Internet business. Some have been named after Shakespeare characters; Jachimo, Othello and Roderigo. Other times it became all too clear that I was working with geeks when the servers were either named after Star Trek (Kirk, Sulu, Picard) or Monty Python (Throatwobbler, Gilliam, DeadParrot).

Are people who name their servers after Disney fairies just too cute to work with? Are people who name their servers after gangsters ultimately corrupt? When you meet a new team, you can tell a lot about them by how they name their boxes.

I sometimes wish I had 100 servers to name. Or better yet, maybe I could develop a special area of consulting. Yea, I could be a professional server namer. Can I get paid for that? I could come up with a million naming themes. Servers named after action movies. Nine servers named after planets. Seven small server named after dwarves. Call me and I'll solve all your server naming problems.

Idioms, Credos, Sayings and Maxims: Part 2

In October I began collecting helpful little aphorisms, mottoes and adages that many consider "words to live by." Below are a few more to add to the list.

“Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear.” Every piece of information we get from another person is filtered thru their unique reality, thus it is tainted. Plus, what we see with our own eyes ain’t always that reliable either.

“When all you have is a hammer then every problem starts looking like a nail.” Artists should experiment with new mediums. Musicians should try other instruments and knowledge workers should broaden their toolsets and approaches.

“Shit in. Shit out.” The end result is a direct product of the effort and talent put in. This also means that a project is only as good as it's initial assets and ideas.

“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.” This was proven time and again during the early days of desktop publishing when young designers realized that computers rendered 16 million colors…and set about to use every one of them. In a single project.

“Luck favors the prepared.” The harder I work, the luckier I get.


See also: Idioms, Credos, Sayings and Maxims: Part 1

Definition: Smoke Test

In the computer industry we use the term "Smoke Test" to mean an initial test of some software or hardware. Y'know, you plug it in and see if it smokes.

The term originally comes from plumbing, where a mini-smoke bomb is tossed inside pipes to see where it leaks out. This determines if water will flow without any drips.

This has nothing to do with last year's exploding laptops from Dell.

TLAs (Three Letter Acronyms) Part 2

Back in October I wrote about the Internet industry's particular penchant for acronyms (see original post). As promised, here is an update with more web-speak definitions.

CLM (Career Limiting Move) "His dirty dancing at the company holiday party was a total CLM."

KPI (Key Performance Indicators) These are numbers that we should actually pay attention to.

WAG (Wild Ass Guess) Although clients will always promise that they won't hold you to your initial estimate, beware of publicizing any WAGs.

AYFKM (Are You Freakin' Kidding Me?) I have used this one a lot lately as I see the common everyday atrocities committed by some in the web business.

SME (Subject Matter Experts) Not at all like Smurfs, these know-it-alls are not necessarily cuddly. SMEs have massive currency in the knowledge economy.

ABC (Always Be Closing) In sales, as in your career, always be landing the next deal.

EOD (End Of Day) Always make sure to verify the time zone when someone requires something by EOD. And usually this means 5pm, but in a pinch it can mean midnight.

Check out TLAs (Three Letter Acronyms) Part 1.

Definition: SneakerNet

We use the term SneakerNet to mean physically carrying a disc or flash drive from one computer to another. You move the files with your tennis shoes rather than over digital transmission lines. Sometimes, during the chaos of hard-core production, files just need to be carried. Networks break down and internet connections flake out, but the humans can always carry the bits.

Sometimes SneakerNets are the only way. Some files are so huge that it is quicker and cheaper to copy the data to a portable storage device and carry that device to the intended recipient. Scientists and data warehouses do this kinda thing all the time. Other users of SneakerNets are seeking high-security environments which can only be found today by avoiding cyberspace.

So remember, the next time you carry a CD over to a friend’s house to give ‘em a file, you are participating in a long history of file transfer. And one day your children will find it foolish and antiquated.

Definition: CamelCase

CamelCase is used to describe mashing compound words together and capitalizing the first letter of each word. Just like camels, these words have humps. I am noticing that this practice is being used more and more every day. Popular examples are AstroTurf, RadioShack, BlackBerry and QuickTime.

As with many habits of the computer industry, CamelCase comes from computer programming. That's why Microsoft used to be spelled MicroSoft. Rather than introduce spaces or hyphens into long words, programmers started using capitol letters to make variable names human readable. Sometimes CamelCase is actually camelCase (with the initial letter being lowercase, similar to how some variable names are spelled when writing code.)

CamelCase is sometimes called BiCapitalization when referring to marketing practices. I've also heard it called BumpyCase, HumpBackNotation and NerdCaps.

I am officially changing my name to ToddTibbetts and I live in SeattleWashington. I am a DigitalMediaConsultant. ThankYou.

Definition: Dogfooding

One of the terms I hear all the time in this industry (especially at Microsoft) is "dogfooding". It means to use your own product (eat your own dog food). You can't expect others to use your software if you don't use it yourself. The concept is said to have originated with actor Lorne Green who, in the Alpo dog food commercials of the 1970s, exclaimed that he fed it to his own dog. Yum!

TLAs (Three Letter Acronyms) and Beyond

A new TLA often creates FUD. (Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt) Has our language become too cumbersome? Are we in such a hurry that we can’t be bothered saying so many words? “I’m sorry,” we say, “I’d love to talk to you but I am in a tremendous hurry. Perhaps I could just say the first letter of each word of every sentence?” WTF!

Every industry has its own particular acronyms. Our internet industry is one of the greatest creators of new TLAs, but we also share many traditional ones as well. I’ve included some fun examples below and I pose the question, “Do we need more acronyms or less?” WWTD? (What would Tim Burners-Lee Do?)

I decided not to list “chat speak” which is a language all its own. These abbreviations are almost emoticons describing fleeting feelings, lol. (Laugh out Loud)

PEBKAC (Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair) A subtle way technical support people describe a problem caused by a user who can’t figure out how to use a computer.

RTFM (Read The Frickin’ Manual) A response to an obvious computer question may illicit this abbreviation.

SWOT (Strengths Weaknesses Opportunities & Threats) A strategic analysis technique developed at Stanford in the 1960s as a way to compartmentalize planning.

CYA (Cover Your Ass) When creating contracts or proposals, this is a more fun way to say “assumptions” or “caveats”.

SWAG (Stuff We All Get) The free stuff given away to those in (or near) the internet industry. But, as I wrote about in SWAG Stories, this one has many definitions.

OOF (Out Of Facility) Originally used in academic settings and has now come to mean Out of the Office in the corporate world.

FUBAR (Fucked Up Beyond All Repair) Borrowed from the military, like many of our acronyms. Used to describe a project that will never get well.

SNAFU (Situation Normal, All Fucked Up) A WWII term the troops used to describe that everything is as screwed up as usual.

IP (Internet Protocol) or (Intellectual Property) I’ve been in quite a few digital studio environments where it was not always clear whether the conversation was about IP numbers for the server or ownership rights regarding a piece of content.

ASP (Active Server Pages) or (Application Service Provider) Many acronyms have multiple meanings, but this one in particular can get quite confusing. An ASP may run ASP, for example.

Even TLA has multiple meanings. It can mean Three Letter Acronym, Trial Lawyers Association, True Love Always or Top Level Architecture.

Want to explore more? Go to the Internet Acronyms Dictionary. We could go on and on… 24/7.

Idioms, Credos, Sayings and Maxims: Part 1

In the digital media business, as with many industries, communication sometimes consists of trite sayings that rattle off the tongue almost absentmindedly. Many of these utterances are merely verbal filler spoken by people who are trying to fill the air with words. However, many of these mottoes and adages are actually solid truisms. I've collected some "words to live by" below. I hope you'll consider these to be helpful little aphorisms which you can use to solidify your succinct understand of the universe.

"Pay yourself first." Whether you are a business person or you're just doing your home finances, a cardinal rule is to set aside your money first. Someone is always owed something (the tax man, the landlord, the bookie). Remember to get yours before you give 'em theirs.

"Don’t throw good money after bad." If you've spent a bunch of money and the effort is failing, don't spend more money to try and fix it.

"Make more than you spend." This seems simple, but I saw quite a few dot com companies staffed by people who thought this rule was antiquated and obsolete.

"Beware the FUD." Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt are familiar bedfellows of the entrepreneur. In small quantities it is normal, but don't allow FUD to rule your world. FUD is used by your enemies (and by deceptive advertisers) to influence your thoughts and actions.

"As soon as you’ve landed the deal, shut up and leave." If you have a deal, the best thing you can do is wrap up the meeting and go away before the other party has a chance to change their mind.

"Wear a belt with your suspenders." In England they say "belt and braces" which means the same thing. If you want to make extra sure your pants don't fall down, wear a belt in case your suspenders break. This is being double-insured.

"Don’t be all mouth and no trousers." We all know people who are all talk and no action.

"Pour ‘em strong." A philosophy of some bartenders, cuz if the drinks are strong then the customers will keep coming back. Pouring a weak drink might save you money in the short term, but won't get you known as the place to be. A good deal increases sales volume. A slightly smaller profit margin may net you more income in the end.

"Don’t fall for the bait and switch." A product is advertised as an amazing deal, but in the end it turns out that the deal is altered to such an extent that the original deal is gone. A car salesman takes you for a ride in the car with all the extras and when you decide to buy it he notices a scratch on the car and switches it for another one which he says is exactly the same. When you get it home, you realize it is missing some features you had assumed were included because you saw those features during the test drive.

"Unless you are the lead dog, the view is always the same." Similar to the belief that being second is being last. The lead sled dog has the view of the world out in front, the other dogs are looking at butt.

"Don’t sell the steak, sell the sizzle." It has been said a thousand times, but it still holds true. You can't just put the product out there and expect it to move, you need to tell the world why it is amazing. As Elmer Wheeler said back in 1936, "It is the sizzle that sells the steak and not the cow, although the cow is, of course, mighty important."

"Your mileage may vary." Beware this phrase or others like it. It basically says that your experience won't compare with what has been advertised. You'll get less and you can't say nothin' cuz we warned you.

"Pony up." Simply meaning, pay what you owe.

"Eat what you kill." This is direct cause-and-effect business. Self-employed consultants understand this. Go out there and make it happen so that you can eat. If you hunt it down and kill it, then it is all yours and you deserve it.

"If a frog had wings he wouldn’t bump his ass a hoppin’." I often hear people whine and moan that if only they had some item or talent, then they would be successful. I tell them they don't have it so figure out how to succeed without it. This is similar to what a friend once told me, "Yea, and if I was an astronaut, I’d be dancin' around on the moon."

UPDATE: See the next installment Idioms, Credos, Sayings and Maxims: Part 2

Definition: Kludgy and Kludgier

In internet studio terms, a kludge is a sloppy, messy ball of code. A kludge is a software application that was slapped together with little thought of planning and with no respect for the best practices of a mature industry.

Web developers often inherit code from previous, long-lost developers. When a new developer begins working with new code, some kludges work and others don't. A working, functional kludge is one you don't want to touch for fear you'll trip on some code and the whole application will come crumbling down. Most kludge applications are not documented so you'll always need to reverse engineer everything.

SWAG Stories

"Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong,
Under the shade of a Coolibah tree,
And he sang as he watched and waited till his billy boil,
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me."
- Waltzing Matilda by A.B. Paterson

What is SWAG exactly? Traditionally it referred to the cloth bundle a transient Australian vagabond might carry, filled with his clothing and belongings. For our purposes here, let's talk about a contemporary definition meaning the free stuff given away to those in (or near) the internet industry. I'm talking about promotional items, branded souvenirs, marketing giveaways and what we sometimes refer to as "tchotchkes" (Yiddish for "trinket").

There are many definitions and derivations, some of which are:
Marketing speak: Samples, Wearables And Gifts
On the industry floor: Stuff We All Get
Slang: Shit We All Git
Jaded veteran: Some Worthless Advertising Gimmick
Production studio: Scientific Wild Ass Guess

SWAG is one aspect of the internet industry that makes it all worthwhile. When a colleague shows me some new piece of SWAG they just received, it is usually because the gift is either really great or, alternatively, uniquely horrible and ill-conceived.

I've received these trinkets over the last 15 years and have kept many of them. T-shirts are probably the most common variety of SWAG, but the gifts are often of higher value. When we started MountainZone.com to broadcast content to the outdoor sporting industry, we hoped the gifts would begin to roll in. Oh, and roll they did. We received free condo stays and lift tickets from WhistlerBlackcomb resort, branded jackets from Warren Miller Entertainment, and free meals at local Seattle restaurants. Perhaps the greatest SWAG item I ever received was a limited edition K2 "Tricky Glow" snowboard (see photo). They made 750 of them and mine is stamped #666. And yes, it does glow in the dark. Because I need that.

We've all seen the bad gifts, too. What does it say about a company when you use their branded pen and it runs out of ink in a day? What about that key fob/flash drive that looses your data? A couple years ago I attended a medical technology conference and I was given a pen that barely wrote, but I kept it because of it's kitch value. It was promoting a collection agency and claimed they could, "get blood out of a stone." The ink was red.



I am constantly fascinated by how language and words mutate and develop. The term SWAG has a twisted history of spellings, derivations and origin stories. Explore for yourself and derive your own conclusions, I'm too busy playing with my branded plastic toys!

Wikipedia has a deep history of SWAG.

A similar spelling, Shwag, is often used to reference marijuana of questionable quality.

Another spelling is Schwag as used on the new website Start Up Schwag. This is the place to go to get branded T-shirts from the internet industry.

Some internet industry folks are taking photos of their loot and posting them for all the world to see. For example, Yahoo! employees have begun collecting SWAG from their company and photographing it all.

So, before you say, "I Survived the Dot Com Crash and All I Got Were These 3,000 Lousy T-shirts" remember that you are part of history! Join me in saving photos of these items for history to view. Send me photos and, if I get enough, I'll start an online SWAG museum.

On Digital Steroids

Since when did we say it was alright to feed performance-enhancing drugs to our sweet, little computers? Everywhere I look, each application boasts that it is like another application, yet much better (and apparently muscled and covered in veins). My new product is like your product...on steroids.

I think I require a more creative way to describe new technology. Let's develop an amazing new way of talking about computer topics. Some hyper-detailed way of telling others about digital news. Like exposition...on steroids.

A simple Google search for the term "on steroids" with qualifying words such as "digital" or "computer industry" reveals over two million mentions.

This month, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution noted that WiMax has been called a "WiFi on Steroids".

Forbes magazine has described LinkedIn as "networking on steroids." I've been to plenty of business networking events and, believe me, the last thing I want to see is this crowd in some amped-up state. They are bad enough on martinis.

This all gets more surreal when talking about Web 2.0 companies with funny names. "Pownce is kinda like Twitter but on Steroids." See what I mean?

Complicating the comparison further is the tendency to compare a product to another product that has already claimed to be like a third product on steroids. For example, if "Google Video is like Flickr on steroids", and "Flickr is like iPhoto on steroids", then is Google Video like iPhoto on a double dose of steroids? And if Zooomr is "a Flickr on steroids", does that mean that Zoomr is taking steroid with Google?

We all know what happens after years of steroid use. People become cranky, violent and begin to degenerate. Is that what will happen to our hardware and software? Don't do digital drugs!

Start-up Companies Sprouting

It's finally summer in Seattle and that means all the little start-up companies that sprouted in the spring are growing full-bloom and are spreading across the land. I believe there are more new web ventures now than there were back in the late 90s. There is definitely a leaning toward social networking and video entertainment, but this new crop of companies come in all colors and varieties.

John Cook put together a list of over 60 Seattle "Web 2.0" Internet companies. Geeking with Greg organized the list and stacked them by Alexa traffic rankings.

Seattle-area company-watchers have always been able to turn to Seattle 24x7 for a good overview of Internet and new media companies.

The phenomenon is happening across the country, with more new Internet companies cropping up than ever before. Baris Karadogan posted a great list of companies from all over the place.